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Chapter 125: Emotional Deprivation
The Mad Mage
Vinesha
This was an era before she was called by that name.
She was tumbling through the fragments of the sky that had poured down into the hidden world.
The spirit that enveloped Vinesha barely managed to protect her.
Within the spirit’s embrace, she clutched a pendant tightly.
Her chest felt tight.
Her mind was in turmoil.
Memories she thought she would never recall again—
Distant, long-forgotten fragments of the past flooded her mind.
Vinesha was confused.
The overwhelming surge of fragmented memories left her unable to think clearly.
Perhaps because of that, memories passed before her eyes like a panoramic vision.
A childhood abandoned by her parents.
There was something her mother and father had both said to her.
「We shouldn’t have had you.」
Words that wished she had never been born.
Though she had heard them at such a young age, they remained vividly etched into her memories.
When she was six years old, her parents abandoned her.
At an age when attachment was supposed to form, she was cast away by the very people who had been her entire world.
She was left with nothing.
「Why are you here?」
Starving, parched, and on the brink of death—
That was when a woman appeared before her.
Her mentor and adoptive mother.
Marisa.
Marisa cherished Vinesha more than anyone.
It was a love Vinesha had never experienced before.
But Vinesha had already lost everything once.
As a result, she became excessively attached to Marisa.
She poured all her strength into ensuring she was never abandoned again.
The emotional void that had never once been filled in her life—
Marisa was the only one who could fill it, making Vinesha’s obsession inevitable.
Thus, she desperately learned the magic that Marisa taught her.
Fortunately, Vinesha had talent, and Marisa praised her greatly each time.
For the first time, Vinesha felt her emptiness being filled.
She realized—this was what happiness felt like.
Then one day, Marisa brought home two more children.
Two younger children than Vinesha.
Both were also abandoned on the streets.
A boy and a girl of the same age.
The boy was Grantoni, and the girl’s name was Musika.
‘Why did Master bring more children besides me? Was I not enough?’
At first, Vinesha did not welcome their presence.
It was already difficult enough to monopolize Marisa’s love, and now she had to share it.
‘I have to endure it.’
But Vinesha could not let her feelings show.
She knew Marisa wouldn’t approve.
Vinesha, Grantoni, and Musika all grew up together.
During that time, Marisa discovered that the two also possessed exceptional talent as spirit conjurers.
Naturally, she trained them as well.
Though Grantoni was undoubtedly skilled, Musika was the true prodigy.
Even Vinesha could not compare to Musika’s innate talent.
As a result, Marisa often ended up praising Musika more—though unintentionally.
「You’re amazing, Musika! Your talent is among the greatest in the world.」
「Hehe, it’s all thanks to you, Master, for teaching me so well!」
Musika was an incredibly bright child.
Wherever she went, her presence radiated light.
At first, Vinesha disliked her.
To her, Musika was a shameless thief stealing Marisa’s love.
But Musika was a good person.
「Vinesha, big sister!」
Whenever she saw Vinesha, she would wave excitedly and run over.
At first, Vinesha found Musika’s presence irritating and tried to keep her distance.
But Musika didn’t understand the concept of distance.
Whenever she found something enjoyable, she would excitedly invite Vinesha to join her.
Though Vinesha wasn’t fond of Musika at first, for some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to refuse her.
One freezing, snowy night—
Marisa was away on business, and Vinesha was in charge of preparing dinner.
While out shopping for ingredients, she got distracted and returned home later than planned.
Although she was older than Grantoni and Musika, she was still young and full of curiosity.
She had gotten sidetracked out of simple curiosity.
Still, it wasn’t a big deal.
The streets were well-lit, and there were plenty of people around.
The only issue was the harsh winter wind.
Vinesha shivered and hurried her steps.
That was when she spotted a familiar figure.
It was young Musika.
She stood shivering in the snow, warming her hands in front of a lantern.
Vinesha was startled and rushed over.
「Musika, what are you doing here?」
「I was waiting for you, big sister. It’s scary to walk home alone at night.」
Musika smiled brightly and took Vinesha’s hand with her ice-cold fingers.
「Sniff... I was trying to keep my hands warm by blowing on them.」
Her nose was red from the cold, and her cheeks were flushed.
「Why did you wait for me?」
「Because I wanted to see you.」
To think she had waited in this freezing winter just because she wanted to see her.
Vinesha couldn't quite understand, but she quickly took Musika home.
She thought that if Musika caught a cold, Marisa might end up resenting her.
When they arrived home, Grantoni was there.
Unlike Musika, who was lively, Grantoni was a bit more reserved.
He had lit the fireplace and prepared warm water.
「Sister, here’s a blanket!」
As Vinesha sat down in front of the fire, Musika came running over with a blanket.
She wrapped it around Vinesha and then sat in front of her, pulling the blanket over herself as well.
「It's much warmer like this!」
Seeing that, Grantoni also subtly scooted into the blanket.
At that moment, Vinesha realized something.
Ah, this is what unconditional love is.
These children were giving her love.
That was the moment Vinesha truly accepted Musika and Grantoni.
But it was also the beginning of another chain of tragedy.
The deep scars her parents had left long ago were not so easily healed.
As time passed, Musika's talents began to shine.
Naturally, Marisa started to spend more time with Musika.
Deep inside, Vinesha wanted to support Musika.
But at the same time, the little girl inside her screamed.
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If this continues, she will once again lose her parents and be abandoned.
Marisa truly loved Vinesha.
But Vinesha’s heart was a gaping hole.
No matter how much love was poured into it, it would always leak out.
‘This must be part of growing up.’
Surely, once she became an adult, these feelings would disappear.
This ugly jealousy would vanish with maturity.
That was what she wished for.
But the anxiety continued to tighten around her.
Eventually, on the day she opened the Otherworld in an attempt to elevate her status as a Soul Sorcerer despite her lack of skill—
She made an irreversible mistake.
The Abomination, which had been waiting for her to open the Otherworld, planted a seed inside her.
Her memories of opening the Otherworld were completely erased.
The seed of the Abomination had wiped them away.
But from that day on, she noticed that her emotions were becoming increasingly unstable.
Before, when she looked at Musika, her heart would waver, but the feeling of affection was always greater.
But now, it felt as if something was gripping her mind, squeezing it tight.
Like a fuse ignited by an inextinguishable flame.
Vinesha scolded herself repeatedly, trying to come to her senses.
But the seed of the Abomination was relentless.
It constantly provoked and tormented her emotions.
「Musika, you have no idea how much I’ve been boasting about you at the Soul Sorcerers’ Association lately.」
「Oh, come on, it's all thanks to Master’s teaching.」
「Even so, it's impossible for someone your age to have this level of talent. You’re the best among your peers.」
And on the day Musika was finally recognized by Marisa—
‘I will never be Master’s most proud student.’
Something inside Vinesha cracked, and the seed of the Abomination bloomed.
「Sister, I’m home!」
That day, only Vinesha and Musika were home while Marisa and Grantoni were out.
Musika had been invited to an academic conference about Soul Sorcery.
「Sister, look at this! I saw this delicious cream cake on my way back and bought it for us.」
「Musika.」
Musika was taking off her scarf, chatting happily.
But when Vinesha interrupted her, she turned around—
And her face slowly froze.
Because half of Vinesha’s body was no longer human.
「S… sor… ry… I guess… this is my limit.」
Tears filled one of Vinesha’s eyes.
She had believed that, with time, her suppressed emotions would eventually fade.
Her jealousy, her hunger for love—
But by recklessly meddling with the Otherworld despite her lack of skill, she had summoned something she never should have.
With a single gesture from Vinesha, the Otherworld opened.
She coughed up blood and let out a scream, her body consumed by madness.
Musika instinctively knew—
If this continued, Vinesha would die.
To save her, she had to enter the Otherworld and stop the Abomination.
And she knew exactly what that would mean.
But she ran anyway.
Because Vinesha was her beloved sister.
「Sister, I’m sorry. I should have understood you better.」
That wasn’t true.
Even while being controlled by the Abomination, Vinesha had cried out again and again—
That this was all happening because she was weak.
That it was never Musika’s fault.
「You know, I was always happiest because you were my sister.」
Musika cast her soul sorcery.
「No! No, don’t!」
Vinesha screamed.
But Musika stepped into the Otherworld and, at last, severed the connection between Vinesha and the Abomination.
The doorway closed.
Vinesha, bathed in a brilliant light, lost consciousness from the shock of the severed bond.
And when she awoke—everything was already over.
Her master, who had sacrificed their life to save her.
Grantoni, whose face had been disfigured in the chaos.
And Musika—nowhere to be seen.
In Vinesha’s trembling hands was a pendant, placed there by her dying master.
Standing in the ruins of the home that had once been her sanctuary, she let out a hollow laugh.
The Abomination had destroyed the center of her emotions.
Now, she didn’t know what to do anymore.
So, she simply walked.
With every step she took, her remaining memories crumbled away.
She became empty.
Her memories, her emotions—everything was gone.
That was who Vinesha had become.
—Flash—
Vinesha’s eyes opened.
Tear stains remained, marking the path of the countless tears she had shed.
"Ah."
Now, she finally understood why her heart had been in such agony.
She had finally remembered all the sins she had committed.
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